correct methodology
i was drunk and walking to my car. my bladder was full. normally i’d adopt a devil-may-care attitude to public urination, but this was leederville so i couldn't just hike down the front of my trousers because i was surrounded by the apartments of young professionals. i decided for the discreet approach, which is a lengthy routine of unbuckling your belt and undoing the button and unlatching the hook and zipping down the fly and pulling down your trunks and stretching out the full length of your thing. i was in no hurry, and though it goes against my notions of rugged authenticity, following the correct and proper urination procedure was an incredible experience. i am now considering buying an apartment in leederville and furnishing it with tasteful decor.