over or under
in 2018 when i was a relatively buzzworthy australian country singer, i got an email from pitchfork asking me to do a round of their popular segment over/under where theyd tell me various nouns and i'd explain whether i thought they were over or underrated.
i was very nervous. usually when i am asked for an opinion, i get very fired up and say regrettable things. i would have to keep myself in check.
the first was "jane austen". i hadn't read her books so i really couldn't comment.
the next was "train". i asked if they meant train the vehicle or train the band. the producer mimed playing the electric guitar. i said sorry, i have not heard their music before.
they tried some australian ones. "fosters lager". i said i'd only ever seen this beer in movies, not in real life. "crocodile dundee". i hadnt seen that either.
the segment was going bad. i asked if they had any more general topics. they had only prepared pop culture ones, so the producer loaded up a word generator on his phone.
"precipitation" he said. i didnt know what that meant. "its water vapour", to which i said i had no opinion.
the next was "in". that is not a noun, i said, thats a preposition. "inn" he said, stretching the nnn, showing me his phone. i said i wouldnt know. im not in medieval times.
there was a very tense energy in the room. everyone was frustrated with how the segment was going, and i could hear my voice beginning to snarl.
"okay, last one" he said. "ice". i was relieved to finally have a decent prompt. under! i said. underrated! the cameraman balked and a few of them glanced at one another. perhaps it was a cultural difference, perhaps americans arent as into it, so i explained why us australians love ice, because you can put it in your drink on a scorching summers day and the drink becomes cool and refreshing. its also really good for the environment.
they said no, we meant the other ice. "oh" i said. i thought they meant dry ice, the kind magicians throw on the ground. "well that is also underrated".
they cut the segment and said they'd be in touch about the video, but i never heard back. i didnt think the segment would get published anyway, but for years i was confused about their reactions to my last opinion.
only now that i see what is happening in the united states, i finally understand.
no!!! i dont support ice! if i could do the segment again, i'd say overrated! ice is overrated!