power and knowledge
i am trying to read about power and knowledge, i want to impress my friends, but nothing im reading is more than words on a screen - power is exorcised from innumerable points in the interplay of nonegalitarian and mobile relations - it might as well be heiroglyphics, maybe because it is eight at night and i can never read anything after seven, and i dont know why im in this critical theory reading group, i dont care about surplus labor or class consciousness, i barely care about my own class let alone others, the truth is i just want to learn some good new words to call my friends, and really, i want to wash my hands of all this power/knowledge, i am far more interested in power/wisdom, but regarding these french guys, well i know that you must understand something before you can slag it off, so im trying to figure out what this sentence means and im getting close, but the woman four computers away keeps snickering at something on her computer, no, snickering is the wrong word, theres no mouth movements involved, its the silent area, no, shes snickering through her nose, wait, sniffeling, thats the word, yes, shes sniffling just like that dog from that show on tv, wallace and grommit, shes sniffelling like the dog does when that penguin kicks him out of the house, and now the womans sniffeling is making me sad, for all i can think about is that poor dog wallace, alone in the thunderstorm, shivering in the doghouse and sniffeling like a grown man who finally breaks, sniffeling like a man covering his face while someone holds his hand, and now im feeling so bad about the night last week when i did the same thing to my dog, i kicked her out of my room cause she was shaking too much, she really hates thunder but her panting was just too loud and she was making my whole bed vibrate, my bedside table too, my glass of water was going haywire, and, i know she was just being scared, i know i should have comforted her, but i had to sleep, i had to get up and teach a class the next morning, a class where the most of students have chosen to fail, they all submit ai, i got fed up, i just wrote in the feedback, ‘thanks for wasting my time’, and i feel so bad, bad about the dog i mean, i need to practice more kindness. i will let this woman at her computer keep on sniffeling.