questions for an ambulance driver
where do the ambulance drivers go when they aren’t rushing round? do they go back to the hospital, or do they wait in a mcdonalds carpark playing games on their phone? do ambulance drivers get paid for each trip, or is it just a flat rate per hour? if flat, then how come they’re always driving so fast? whats the rush? if i was an ambulance driver, i’d park at the most rural mcdonalds i could find and chill.
and i have some more questions about becoming an ambulance driver– are ambulance drivers allowed to play cds? the guy sitting next to the ambulance driver, is he in charge of opening the glove box and finding a good cd? what happens when they have to play that annoying siren? does the music get turned off, down, or up? do they wait for their favourite song to finish first? does the ambulance driver ever turn the siren off when he’s trying to concentrate on parallel parking? do ambulance drivers ever listen to audiobooks on a long drive? do they have any recommendations? i have some audible credits.
does the ambulance driver ever lose his temper when people drive too slow? does he ever rev his engines or flip them off? does the ambulance driver believe in god? on a bad day when the ambulance driver sees an injured guy, does he ever say i wish that was me?
does an ambulance driver ever be rude to the cd chooser? does he criticise his taste in music, or press eject when the cd chooser is singing along? does the ambulance driver ever have to remind himself to say nice things to the cd chooser? does the ambulance driver ever try to make up for his rudeness by buying the cd chooser something nice at the petrol station? does he buy it full price or only when its 2-for-1? does the ambulance driver ever keep a tally in his head of all the times he’s bought $1 coffee for the cd chooser? and does he feel bad about keeping score? does the ambulance driver ever deliberate on whether he should buy small, regular or large for the cd chooser, and does this inform his own choice of size? what if the ambulance driver only wants a small because he’d already had some instant at home? does the ambulance driver ever worry that if he gets two smalls he’ll look like a cheapskate but if he buys a large for the cd chooser and a small for himself, the cd chooser could make a lude joke about the size difference? will the ambulance driver get charged for a large if he only fills the cup halfway?
when the ambulance driver swerves to hit a chunk of polystyrene blowing on the road, does he feel a rush of exhilaration? does the ambulance driver ever wonder what would happen if the polystyrene was filled with razor blades? does the ambulance driver pay attention when his dad shows him how to change a tyre?
does the ambulance driver ever wonder what’s at the end of the traffic he’s swerving through, and if it will be worth the hassle? does the ambulance driver start to think of injured people as nothing but way-points on his gps? does the ambulance driver ever worry about his attitude towards his work, and by extension, the existence of others? does the ambulance driver ever wish he could do something that offers no benefit to the world?
does the ambulance driver ever try to teach the cd chooser how to drive the ambulance so he can retire on whim at short notice and be confident in having an immediate successor? when the ambulance driver is supervising the cd chooser, does he put L plates on the ambulance? when the cd chooser has to reverse-park or do a hill-start, do they get out and swap seats?
when the ambulance driver is watching his friends play gta v, does he get annoyed when they hijack an ambulance and drive it badly on purpose? does the ambulance driver ever buy a big box of muesli bars to keep in his glove box so he can avoid buying breakfast lunch and dinner but then on the way home from coles he eats all 6 muesli bars in one go and then he has to buy a new lunch and dinner? does the ambulance driver ever forget to take the muesli bar wrappers out of the cupholders and then when the cd chooser opens the window it all starts blowing around?
does the ambulance driver ever put the doors on child lock to stop the cd chooser from opening the windows? does the ambulance driver ever believe that a natural urge to open the windows instead of letting the aircon do its thing is a fatal character flaw? does the ambulance driver ever wish he could be as carefree as a windows man?
does the ambulance driver have a good reason to do what he does or does he do what he does just because its what he once decided to do and does he remember why he decided to do it? does the ambulance driver ever tell himself that he could do something else but he'd still feel the same way doing anything else so he may as well keep doing what he is doing? if you know someone who is an ambulance driver please ask them my questions.