weird guy on the bus
today there was a weird guy on the bus. he was a normal guy really but he was wearing a bright pink helmet and on the seat next to him was a big cubic bag that said DOOR DASH. so he wasnt weird but it was weird he was on the bus and not on a bike or scooter or hog. and he wasnt just weird, he was dishonest.
the whole appeal of food delivery is the outsourcing of petty fuel and labour. we like that someone is sacrificing their body or car for us while we sit on our couch and try to find something to stream among the services. an uber eats guy delivering with public transport feels incredibly deceitful. also, it takes a bit longer.
and what wasnt just weird and dishonest but also unpleasant was this man's unsafe food handlng. every now and then the bus would be treated to the wafting aroma of thai beef salad, which was really quite pleasant, but what was not pleasant was continuously catching him in the act of "fishing around". every so often he would dip his hand through an opening in the zip, and then quickly, like a frog, whip back his hand with a piece of shaved beef, straight into his mouth, swallowing without a single chew. he did this several times few times until he accidentally caught a big piece of chilli. then he was hammering on the buzzer, saying stop the bus, stop the bus.
the next stop was luckily a small park and i saw the manhe man run out the door to the fountain where he splashed his outstretched tongue and batted it with his hands as if it were a dusty old carpet. the bus moved off and i saw he had left his bag. i ate the rest of it.